Wanted (3/26/13)

I want to feel like I'm wanted
Like I'm needed
By the people I've given up everything for
By those that I love so very much

I want to fall on my knees
Hang my head
And just cry my eyes out
I don't want to have to be strong

It's hard enough to hold up myself
Let alone all of those
Who depend upon me
To be there for them

But who is there for me?
When the walls are too thin
And I struggle to take my next breath
Or am I just making mountains, out of mole hills?

I just want to be heard
For my words
And my actions
To mean something to someone

This isn't the life that I wanted...

Hollow (3/5/13)

Oh how I would like to survive

On this plane of living, with you by my side

Not just for the length of a mortal coil

But for eternity everlasting

But I feel filled with doubt and fear

Exhaustion fills my every pore

I'd like to lay down my head at once

And fall asleep silently crying

To release some of the pressure that is building

Before something terrible can happen to us all

Being this tired hurts, inside my mind and soul

And throughout my muscles and bones

How I wish to feel the fire

That once consumed my very veins

The flames of passion, of creation

A muse that forged the words I laid down

Yet still I merely just exist

In a body that's not really living

While it's filled with nothing but distraught

Never feeling anything it yearns for

Is this my curse, to carry for always?

For the wrongs I have dealt long ago

For the feelings and lives I had hurt

There is no spell to remedy this ache

But still I shall reverently hope

To the bottom of everything that I am

That someday I'll be myself again

And not just a shell of what I used to be