Anything Could Happen (10-29-12)

Anything could happen

I suppose that’s true

As I sit here alone

And think about you

 

You could leave me

Or forget who I am

I could get hurt

Or find out life’s a sham

I know it’s gonna be

A long time until

We figure everything out

But I know that we will

Of my own discretion

I am here by your side

Fill my hand with yours

As we brave this ride

‘Cause anything could happen

If you keep an open mind

And as long as you love

Then with you I’ll be aligned

{Unnamed} (10/24/12)

Sometimes, when I have to go into Eve's room

I just wanna break down and cry

Wanna block out everything and everyone

And just weep my eyes out

I feel like a failure to her

Like I ruined her life

When I always promised that

Her's would be so much better than my own

Sometimes I wish I could go back

And just be a better mom to her

I know I was young

And had a lot of things on my mind

But I should have

And could have

Done better for her

Than I did

I miss her more than anything

Even though we fight all the time

But she's still my baby

And my princess too

Someday I'll have to explain myself to her

And I know it's gonna hurt

I blame myself for her pain

And I doubt that's ever going to change

Someday (10/13/12)

I had a dream last night
Whilst I was fast asleep
About a little boy
So sweet, it made me weep

I dreamt about a son
I didn't know I was going to birth
He came earlier than term
And joined me on this earth

He was tiny and pink
So fragile looking in my arms
Such a wonderful surprise
Full of wonder and charms

I can only hope
That this dream means one thing
That he will someday be my own
My handsome little king

A brother for his sister's to chase
A son for his father to praise
A boy to carry on his name

A family finally whole, for me to raise

Girl Child (10/12/13)

Close your eyes, sweet child

We'll ride out this storm together

When the nights grow to be wild

I will be there watching over you

As the tempest in the sky pours down

I shall cover you and keep you warm

You're my sunshine and my crown

The apple of my eye

I wish I was stronger for us

To be more of what you need

But I'm so tired of this fuss

And I think we need to rest

Lay by my side, sweet girl

Mommy will still be here tomorrow

I swear it on every little curl

I shall never be more than an arm's length away

Spiraling (10/11/12)

I scrape through photos of the past

Feeling myself falling deeper with each one

I cannot get back who I used to be

Cannot remember what it was like to run

A sinking soul fallen from the ship

Without an anchor to keep me in place

Wandering without a hope

Without a lifeline to come back from that space

All I want is a moment of peace

A second to rest or grieve alone

Blacker each night seems to become

Until it reaches down to the bone

I need a friend by my side

Someone to talk to once in a spell

To forget all the pain within

So I can heal and start to get well